thisisallison

They say summer bodies are made in the winter. I got news for you; it’s summer and some of us are still making those bodies! Don’t get it twisted, i’m still “summertime fine” and i’m still going to wear my bikinis all summer whether i’m at my body goal or not! What’s worse than realizing I haven’t reached my goals is someone else judging my body. Here is one woman’s story about overcoming body shaming and learning to love the skin she’s currently in.

Yourdictionary.com defines body shaming as the practice of making critical, potentially humiliating comments about a person’s body size or weight. An example of body shaming is telling a child that they are “too fat.” An example of body shaming is when thin women are told they are “too skinny.”  

I feel like we live in a society where all we see are women with perfect bodies and so that’s what many of us yearn for, a “perfect” body. When I was younger I was a size six and by younger I mean throughout high school. My weight started to fluctuate when I was taking the Depo shot for birth control. It was good in that you went every three months for the shot and I want to say that it stopped your menstrual cycle too but don’t quote me on that. Anyway, one thing my doctor at the time didn’t tell me was that it caused weight gain and hair loss. So there I was a freshman in college losing hair and gaining weight. 

My eating didn’t make it any better so by the time I realized what was going on, I was wearing a size twelve and weighing 160 pounds. That was a lot coming from the girl that was a size six weighing 120 pounds. Needless to say, my family let me know that I was gaining weight. They’d say things like, “ You’re wider now.” Or, “You’ve put on some weight since the last time I saw you.” They were correct. I was wider and I had put on weight. That’s also a form of body shaming. By the time I graduated college, my weight was up and down. I’d go from a size eight to a twelve to at my largest, a fourteen. I don’t know but it was something about my weight back then that didn’t bother me. I just bought clothes to fit me at whatever weight I was. 

However,  in 2011 I joined a gym and started walking and eventually running. I worked out seven days a week, no days off and cut a lot of things out of my diet and low and behold I was weighing between 125-130 pounds. I loved that I had lost thirty pounds by being consistent with exercising and dieting. I kept the weight off until 2016. When I would go home, you know what they’d say? “Are you sick?” Or, “You are entirely too skinny.” Again, body shaming me because I was no longer “wider” as they had said before. Fast forward to present day and I have gained the thirty pounds I lost and some. Yes, my current weight is 195 pounds last I checked the scale and please believe that I don’t check it often because for some reason I can’t seem to get past that 190 mark. I went home this past Thanksgiving and I had a family member flat out call me fat. She went on to say that I must have a man because I was sure as hell eating good and her last words to me were if I was pregnant. I was literally dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to say. I knew that I had gained weight. I see myself everyday. Not only did she body shame me but she also humiliated me but luckily only a few people were there when she said it. Another family member then decided to “join the fun” by telling me that two fat people couldn’t fit in the entrance to the kitchen. Later that same family member told me that she was just joking but that was another example of body shaming and to me it wasn’t a joke. 

What people didn’t know is that I had tried and taken three different medicines for my bipolar disorder, along with six different medicines for insomnia that all caused an increase in your appetite. Even though I knew it, I just couldn’t fight the urge to not eat. To make matters worse I was going to the gym but the numbers on the scale kept rising. I was so confused but most of all frustrated to the point where I would or I wouldn’t go to the gym at all. I am currently on a medicine that does cause increased appetite but not as bad as the other ones. However, now I am more dedicated than ever to get this weight off. If I can get down to 160 or even 170, I’ll take that. Isn’t it odd that the weight that I thought was my largest before is now my goal weight? It’s amazing how life works. Life is so amazing that I am blessed with two friends to help me on this journey and somewhat hold me accountable. And it truly is a journey because some days I don’t feel like working out because I’m too tired or because I get bummed that I stepped on the scale and didn’t see the numbers decrease. So you know what? I don’t even get on the scale as frequently as I used to. I said all that to say that none of my friends have body shamed me.  They have been understanding and supportive. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve been body shamed, I’d have to say that there’s nothing you can do about it but accept it and not let it define you. But if you’re the one doing the body shaming, SHAME on you. Remember that people have feelings and we never know what could be going on with a person’s body to make them gain or lose weight. Sometimes it can be intentional, other times it may not be. 

If you’re not at your goal weight, it’s never too late to create healthy habits. Here’s to a healthier, better you!  

Have you ever been body shamed? If so, what was your experience with it? Does your weight define who you are or are you comfortable in the skin that you’re in?